How you can overcome emotional low's
from Anne-Kathrin Koch
When we don't feel so good and share it with the people we trust, their first reaction is usually to give advice or to comfort us.
And of course, even if it is a beautiful intention, but let me ask you this: How helpful is it really?
The other day I was meeting a friend for breakfast.
Usually, our conversations are deep and inspiring, but this morning we only talked about what is not working in our lives and all the uncomfortable emotions that come with it.
I talked about how unmotivated and unclear I felt, how introverted I am, how much fear I have to get attacked, how much I need to stretch all the time to show myself, how vulnerable I feel and how I don't speak up around contacts which I don't really feel close to, so I don't have to explain myself or risk being looked down upon.
It was just an exchange, which felt heavy. It was simply honest - and heavy.
We managed somehow to let go of giving any suggestions and solutions, I could say and recognize how I felt. I was not getting lost in the victim role either, but I also didn't hold back in expressing myself.
If you already tried to express deep emotions, you know how difficult it can be, because for our brain, they are worlds between the experience and the language. It is a process for itself....
We said goodbye without having a solution. We just acknowledged that it felt heavy, we took a few conscious breaths and went our ways.
And even I should know it by now; I was again surprised by the outcome of this exchange.
As the day progressed, I could recognize, the motivation came back, the will or the strength to look forward, and to take upon the challenge to overcome the obstacles.
And I realized how powerful and transformative it is, to recognize what is, the way it is. To communicate, to voice out the emotions, to describe and express it. Without the need to suppress it, without the urge to solve it, to fix oneself, but not to get lost in it.
With just being with what is, the pure and honest connection with oneself and a worthy counterpart, transformation happens on its own.
And it just makes it clear again, that we are not really broken and that we don't need to be fixed.
A lot of advice is a form of fixing, because it is uncomfortable, to allow and hold the discomfort for a moment.
Maybe it is like a storm: If there is a storm, we can try with all forces to improve things, to keep it together, or to fix it. But it won't really help much.
When we go into the center of the storm, in the radical acknowledgment of what is, it seems we don't change or fix anything, but there is calmness approaching, peace, and then somehow the storm is changing and what is left is a new and more profound strength.
I can just encourage you to take the risk, be with the emotional storms, breathe, communicate honestly and pure, and allow yourself to be exactly the way you are right now.
Then this is a form of love. And love transforms and heals.
What is a feeling you wanted to have fixed, and that you would be now willing to acknowledge, face it, and voice it out?
In love
Anne-Kathrin
P.S. Leave a comment and share this blog with someone that you would like to remind that she is not broken and that she can be merely human.
Text: © Anne-Kathrin Koch - https://www.anne-kathrin.de
Photo: Unspleash-anton-darius-hAQZHk8snBY
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